Five

It was early april, and andy and i were living on the big island. i was enjoying a massage, when the masseuse asked me if i was pregnant. "no." (definitely not) i replied . a few moments later, she continued .... "normally i wouldn't say anything, especially since we only recently met, but i am getting a strong sense that you are pregnant." huh! no, that cannot be. surely, i would know if i was. i always thought i would sense a pregnancy even if i couldn't feel the baby.

so, after this session while andy and i were walking, i shared the silly news. kind of brushing it off. on the drive home andy decided to take a slight detour to the drug store. well, you can guess what was purchased. later that night (yes, i waited until dark) i decided to do the deed. andy went to lock the gate on our property and he came back to face a confused, shocked, grinning girl. and from there our life changed. putting us on a new path. at the time we were confused, yes. but today we are settled. and not confused, only loved. and 5 years later, we have this sweet boy. who is 5!! years old. sounds cliche, but this boy has taught me more than i ever learned in school, from books, from friends & family. it's true these little beings really do help you find your way.

the night before ....

our new 5 year old ....

we're celebrating his birthday with friends on saturday so there will be more birthday pictures.

happy thanksgiving!

rituals

every morning when i drop off Kai at school it's usually at the playground. they play outside in the morning and then again right before i pick him up at noon. this makes it very convenient for our morning ritual: honking. as i drive off, i honk. and this is what makes the transition for separation easy (or easier) for little kai. honking when departing actually is a BIG ritual for our family. now when andy rides off on his bike to school he yells honk-honk down our street (can you picture it?). and this settles the kids, especially kai. maybe a bike horn is in order for andy.

if i, bad mama, forget to honk as i drive away from his school i hear about when i pick him up. boy do i hear about it.

this morning when i dropped him off and i was walking to the car, one of Kai's friends asked him to join him on the monkey bars. kai replied, "i have to watch my mama honk first." and my heart smiled. i was suddenly very thankful for this sometimes annoying ritual. and then i wondered how long will it last? one day i'll be sad when it's gone. will it one day turn into hurry mom leave before my friends see you drop me off.

and how long will all our family rituals last? sure they will change as the kids get older. but how can we keep them interested?

all this stuff is swirling in my head because my kai turns 5! on the 24th. that number seems so big. and when there's a 1 in front of that 5 i'm hoping we have family rituals that settle and comfort us all.

drawing

me: "tell me about your picture."

zaiah: "it's daddy's butt." so seriously too.

november 1 - is a beautiful day

but not beautiful enough to lure the kids away from their halloween candy.

i wish i had better pictures to share from last night, but these are the best of the little bunch. the battery died early in the night. But i was happy to get a group picture of the littles. the night was good and safe. our family dressed as a pirate, two black cats and a baby.

admiring their loot after we returned home. and the sugar high has not stopped.